Q and A with DL

Dear DL,

Let me quote your sentences here are in bold. And my answer are in red.

“I do agree that we all have to protect ourself. (ourselves)

But we all must know the different between choice and responsibility.”

I think you misunderstand me here, by choice I mean, OK let me give u as my own example, I am HIV positive if I wish NOT to tell whoever I wish to have sex with that is my RIGHTS and whether I tell him or not is my choice.

And responsibility is even clearer, is my responsibility to protect myself from getting different trends of HIV virus and also STIs (sexually transmitted infections) my responsibility is to PROTECT MYSELF, not for him.

His CHOICE will be to or not to have sex with me, (if I chose to tell him) and his RESPONSIBILITY is to use condom to PROTECT himself (not me) whether he know my status or not.

I think this is pretty clear and my post is also aiming to reflect this point. And I am sure most of the reader understands it.

You might consider or think this is immoral but if you have studied human rights or even just basic rights you will understand.

Because we cannot be sure about knowing or not knowing about someone who has HIV virus or not. Might be someone we wanna have sex is

1. has HIV and DO NOT wanna tell

2. has HIV but did not know about himself

3. has HIV and wanna tell but afraid will lose this sex partner then chose not to tell

So we will have to consider all of the above-mentioned factors to be RESPONSIBLE for ourselves. It is our COICE whether we will have sex with someone we DO NOT know about their HIV status.

Hope this is clear.

I believe that Taung Paw Thar's concern is responsibility.

The best is if A who has positive must tell B that he / she has positive as it is A's responsibility. And then the rest is up to B.
(If A or B really doesn't know if he/she has positive, it will be fine and it is totally "choice".

Why is A need to tell, and why is A’s responsibility to protect B and why it is not B’s responsibility to protect himself. Answer yourself.

Do we really responsible for other people action that will affect our lives or we have our own responsibilities for our action (in this case as you mentioned to or not to have sex with someone we known or might not known) clearly it is our own CHOICE we are going to make, may be we know someone for a long time but we cannot expect that he will always tell him whatever happen with his life.

I believe that B won't have sex at all or must use condom and proper way if B chooses to have sex with A.

Wrong:

Human minds and behaviors are very complicated.

And let me tell you something here, I always tell someone even for a casual sex, one time sex before I have sex, I always told them about my HIV status BUT you might be amazed of 7 out of 10 people I told are NEVER refuse to have sex because of the HIV status, some even persuade me to have sex without condom telling me that they know the risk, of course I know my risk too which is I might get new trends of HIV virus from that and to protect myself from that kind of persuasion is my own RESPONSIBILITY)

Because if we have sex with strangers or someone we knows recently or long time, it is not 100% to get positive compared to having sex with the person who has positive.

That's why it is totally A's responsibility to tell B.

If A doesn't tell about it and make sex with B without condom, A must feel guilty if A has clear conscience.

The worst case is that A can be sued by B for not telling having positive as if B can trace back for having positive later. (This is what the HIV / AIDS specialists tell the HIV / AIDS patients.)

To answer your worse case scenarios how can we be sure that B is not lying about himself. A can also accuse that B infected him, or even as you said B get infected from A how are we gonna prove that, if you wanna sue someone you will need a tangible prove and evidence. This is only so far from my limited knowledge.

Of course HIV specialist can tell the patient like this and he must coz this is his ethic to do so. But if you go to the court you need prove.

Hope you can understand my point.

Warmest Regards,

DL

Hope you understand mine too.

Best

AC

June 3, 2011 10:09 AM

DL said...

Dear AC,

I feel sorry to know that you feel that way.

But I don't think I bias even a bit regarding this matter from any point of view including both society & medical.

From this sentence I am not sure but will assume that you are learning medical or at least familiar with it, but try to get more into human minds as well, and be realistic.

I just point out the A's responsibility and B's choice.

I think you are clear here. But not enough, A’s responsibility to protect himself which is use condom to prevent himself from getting different trends of virus, B’s choice is to or not to have sex with A (regardless A tell him he is HIV or not or whether A know himself or not) this is call universal precaution. If you are not sure about this you can check with your HIV specialist. :+) sorry have to be a bit mischievous can’t help my bitchiness). And his own responsibility to protect himself and NOT expecting that A will be responsible for him.

There are at least two options IF we have to make choice.

But the choice will be totally different IF WE KNOW EXACTLY THE OUTCOME for what we are going to do.

The problem is we will NEVER know what the EXACT outcome is.

If we have clear conscience, we must bear responsibility for what we do and say.

We all know and aware that when it comes to sex there is not such thing as clear conscience.

So since A knows he/she has POSITIVE, it is A's responsibility to tell B no matter how B makes choice is nothing to do with A.

I'm now discussing from A’s side only as the topic of your article focused on A.

Familiarly if B has positive, B must tell A too.

These points are already answered above.

At the same time, A must use condom all the time to protect him/herself. Like what you said two positive patients can't do without protection as patient differs the virus differs and can cause the condition worst if combine different virus.

Hope you will see clear picture.

You can discuss with me every fact you can't agree.

Now I would like YOU and ALL READERS to choose ONE of the followings.

If A knows he/she has positive and before having sex with B,

1) A WILL TELL B about having POSITIVE and ask B to use condom and do in proper way.

2) A WON'T TELL B about it due to some reasons but try to protect him/herself & B by his/her own way by using condom and do proper way no matter how B is willing to use condom or not.

3) A WON'T TELL B and let him make choice for his own safety and just follow according to his choice of using or without using condom. (Because A thinks everybody must protect themselves so A doesn't have to tell about it.)

This is not our game to play or to choose it is for all those who wanna have casual sex to consider and take into account about their own CHOICE, RESPONSIBILITY and ACTION.

And I already had explained a lot above, A might or might not know, A might or might not tell, A chose to tell, A chose not to tell, etc etc .

Have a great weekend!!!!!

Warmest Regards,

DL (One of Homo)

June 4, 2011 1:08 AM

DL said...

Dear All ...

I do give my apologies for being unable to use Burmese font at this moment as something wrong with software.

I can read Burmese font only but can't type.

Warmest Regards,

DL

June 4, 2011 1:11 AM

DL said...

Dear AC,

I am waiting for your discussion of my comments at ဖိုးသူေတာ္ နွင့္ အေမးအေျဖ (ေဒၚရီတာ အား အလ်င္အျမန္အတုခိုးျခင္း).

Actually my comments are for both ေရြးခ်ယ္မႈ (ကိုေတာင္ေပၚသားနွင့္ ၾကံဳတုန္း) and ဖိုးသူေတာ္ နွင့္ အေမးအေျဖ (ေဒၚရီတာ အား အလ်င္အျမန္အတုခိုးျခင္း).

I just love to discuss and share opinion only as you said you would get back later.

Warmest Regards,

DL